fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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