So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's like iHOP with fire
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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