You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize