I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize