ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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