If i come over, it means nothing
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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