I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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