hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
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Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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