I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
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Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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