Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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