i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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