I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
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Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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