Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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