At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize