i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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