I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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