I wanna bring you to show and tell
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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