first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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