He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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