Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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