guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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