i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize