Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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