What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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