Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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