HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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