i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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