EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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