Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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