It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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