i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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