we have pet lesbian snakes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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