So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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