She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize