I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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