I checked into jail on foursquare
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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