Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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