woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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