how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize