Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize