Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize