he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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