Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize