They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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