watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize