my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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