did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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