Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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