i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize