i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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